Day 244 - Cure

The cure for our problems comes in a strange form: it comes through admitting weakness and through a humble heart. -Life's Healing Choices


 

Day 243 - A little more

A little more about our purpose... some of us are born with these amazing God-given talents and we know our purpose. Some of us go through crazy life-changing events that mold our purpose. And, some of us just aren't sure what our purpose is. That's okay; God just hasn't revealed them to us yet. So what do we do? We live with a servant's heart in everything we do. We use what we have to give to others. We volunteer, we help, and we love. And in God's time, through our serving heart or a life-changing event, God will reveal His purpose for our life. We need to open our heart to Him.

God put you where you are for a purpose, even if you feel unknown and unappreciated. Don't give up. keep on serving God. -The Purpose Driven Life



 

Day 242 - Purpose

I know I am talking a lot about finding who I am right now... but it's not how I act, why I do things, my likes, etc. I know that woman. It's finding myself in God's eyes. Understanding that the vision for my life that I have always had, is not the reality of who God made me to be. I am being confronted with the truth that God may not use me to do big things, at least not the big I have dreamed of. My vision and God's vision is not the same and I need to embrace that. I need to let go of the way I have always identified myself, and keep moving and trusting in God's plans for my life - no matter how big or small. I have felt lost in my purpose for so long... but by having faith, living for today, and trying to be more Christ like, I can feel joy and confidence in who I am.

I imagine people spend their whole lives trying to find their purpose and end up lost and defeated. I see how that happens; they are trying to fill a void that they have put inside themselves. They are trying to amount to something valuable in the eyes of the world. They want to be someone. They are desperate to feel important. That could be me. 

Slowly I am starting to understand that God molded each of us to have a purpose. If I spend my life trying to be the person I think I should be, I am completely blindsiding myself. I am missing all of the reasons God created me. I am running past the things I should be focusing on. What if my entire purpose in life is to be the mother to my three children? If I am blindly reaching for myself, how can I nurture them? Why isn't it enough to have that purpose, then say be a writer, speaker, and known woman of God? It is enough. It's more than enough and I should spend every minute embracing the talents God gave me to be the best mother I can be. And along the way use all of my talents and my heart to serve and love others. To be more Christ like. At the end of my life that purpose would be just as fulfilling, if not more, than any that I would have chosen for myself. 

I am tired of being lost. I am weary from wanting my own desires instead of listening to God's. He created me and I want to be worth my full value in His eyes by seeking out His purposes in my life, not my own. I want His will. Because now I see that a person's worth is not measured by how important they are, how much money they have, how big of a Christian they are, or which far corners of the earth they are changing... a person's worth can be found in how they love others, how they use their God-given talents, how firmly they plant their faith, and how much they trust God's working in their life.

 

Day 241 - Identity

One of the first things that was said at church this weekend is, "if you don't know who you are, you can't be happy." This whole year has been about finding myself and finding hope. Surprisingly, it's been a crazy journey and my depression kind of brought everything out into the open for me over these last few weeks. A blessing in disguise. This year is making me stronger, opening my eyes up to my life, and has made me evaluate the way people have pinned me down and tried to label me. I am accepting my weaknesses, confronting my fears, and learning to let go. It has not been an easy road and I am still in the muck of it. But God is opening my eyes to see what the journey is all about and why growing in your identity can be painful, heartbreaking, but completely necessary.

God does his deepest work in your life when he deals with your identity — who you are and the way you see yourself. -Rick Warren


 

Day 240 - Heart

I am learning to rely on who I am, not on the woman others choose to see me as.

Your heart reveals the real you - what you truly are, not what others think you are or what circumstances force you to be.  -The Purpose Driven Life

I know my heart is good. I know that I am good. And I am learning to let everything else go. God gave me this heart to serve and that is the heart I am offering to the world. I know that I cannot please everyone. I cannot be who they want me to be, because God created me to be who He wants me to be. And that's what matters most.

 

Day 239 - Germs

There is so much I want to write about, but I have a sick baby to love on. It looks like another week of illness in our home. But you know what? That's my job. To be mom and to take care of all of their hurts. More unexpected interruptions, more tossing the calendar to the side, more trashing plans, and more giving up my needs. When it comes to my children, that's what God created me to do. To be present, to nurture, to love, and to protect. There is nothing else that matters. And that's our job as a family, to step back and love whomever is hurting. I know the other kids will be disappointed of cancelled plans and more days stuck at home, but I want them to understand that we are in this together. We take care of each other. That's what being a family is all about. And most often, life doesn't happen as planned.

And so as I get ready to welcome in a new week, I am trying to thank God for illnesses that disappear. For the germy kids who get them. For a house to be safely sick in. And for love that keeps us going. Yes, I am disappointed that we will probably be in this for the long haul (two more kids who probably will get sick), but that's just life. And before I was vomited on today...I was thinking to myself how beautiful life really is. And you know what? Nothing has changed.


 

Day 238 - Rushing

We are merely moving shadows, and all our busy rushing ends in nothing. -Psalm 39:6 (NLT)

We do spend a lot of time rushing don't we? I know I do. I'm not sure that any rushing I have ever done has changed my life. I want to stop and take a breath.