Day 177 - What is that to you?

Last year we were in financial ruins (if you do not know my story you can go to my blog My Year of Faith). When you have no money, you feel grateful for whatever you do have and you want for nothing. I was literally thankful for a roof over our heads, food on the table, and the health of my family. But, as things have gotten better and we can afford small luxuries like trips to Costco and Target, I have begun to want more once again. I may not want as much as I used to, but over time I find that I think I "need" things. I have to remind myself of what the word "need" really means. And more than just needing things, I notice what other people have, which then reminds me of what I have lost and what I have always wanted. It's funny how that works. While I am constantly reminding my children what truly matters and how lucky we are, I have to constantly remind myself the same thing.

The problem with wanting more and noticing what other people have is that you start to ask, "Why don't I have those things?" "Lord, when will I be able to buy a house again?" "Lord, why do you abundantly bless that family who doesn't even believe in you?" "Lord, why is everything so hard now?" "How did we get here and when will it all be better?" When I question those things in my selfish heart, I am constantly reminded of John 21:18-22 and how Jesus said to Peter, "What is that to you? You must follow me." Those words, "what is that to you," have been replayed in my mind over and over again and bring me a lot of comfort. I think back to this sentence in the book Dangerous Surrender, "You see, it really isn't any of my business - or your business - what God does in someone else's life. My only business is to follow Him." It's none of our business how God blesses, who God blesses, why God blesses, or when God blesses. Our only business is to be present in our own relationship with Him and to watch Him work in our life.

For some people "what is that to you" is a little scary and harsh. But for me, it's relief and love. It's proof that God has a special journey for each of us and the details are all our own. He blesses some people in certain ways, and some people in other ways. We will all face hardships in this life, we will all have many blessings and joys, but it will not be the same for any of us. God has a unique plan for each person and it is none of our business why some people have big houses, or why some people have loving families. Our business is just to follow Him.

Remembering all of that has helped me steer clear of the jealousy and envy that we feel when other people have what we want. I'm not saying I don't feel those emotions, because of course I do, but I can let them go when I remind myself that it's not my business why they have what I don't. God has His own plan for me. Being able to throw those emotions behind you after they show up is an amazing sense of freedom. It takes away a lot of hurt and pain that may have been weighing you down. It frees you from feeling inferior or less that someone else. So the next time you are faced with the feelings of envy or greed, ask yourself, "What is that to you?"