While exploring my feelings and my problems I came to a sudden halt. One day I shook myself as a reminder that I live in, probably the most vein place in America. I live in Orange County, California. Not only do I live here but I also grew up here. It's all I have ever known. Our culture's idea of perfection is around me constantly. Plastic surgery, beauty, idealism, obsession, money, etc. I cannot escape it. And although I know that it part of our nation as a whole, I can't help but wonder if I would feel different living somewhere else. If perhaps beauty is a little more realistic in other parts of our country and throughout the world. Is this where I want to raise my family, the only place I have ever really known? The place I have loved since my first breath? Is it the best place to raise confident, God-loving children? And how do I not let vanity overtake me anymore? To not crush me so I can lead by example for my kids. Of course I know that it is possible, but I also know that it requires navigating through rough seas.
Vanity was on my mind today when I had to decide if I should go to a play date with a bunch of cute moms either dressed up, or in old workout clothes. Do I skip a chance to help myself to look good and put together, or do I actually do something for myself like run there and feel exposed? Today I chose the latter. I made myself vulnerable, but for a good reason. And after all, this is who I am. And I was glad that I did.
Tonight I decided to read a new section of the Bible. I was planning on reading Proverbs, but something in my memory made me go to Peter. I remember relating to him in sermons that I have heard. I was assured of my decision when I read what to look for in 1 Peter: "Purpose and reason for hope in the face of trouble and suffering. Take note of the encouraging news Peter sent to his readers." Anything about hope is always my first choice. And a little bit into my reading I came across these verses:
"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way that the women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. -1 Peter 3:3-5
Right in front of my eyes was God's answer to my question about vanity. Beauty really does come from a gentle and quiet spirit. From our inner self. God gives that kind of beauty great worth. And it's not saying that you cannot make yourself beautiful, but if you rely on your appearance you are missing the greater value of your inner beauty. Working on having a gentle and quiet spirit is more important. That gives me a little bit of peace and self-power. While it's hard not to judge your looks against others, or to desperately want to look better, knowing that beauty in God's eyes really does come from your inner self makes a beautiful life look a little bit different. And it gives me something to aim for. To be a woman of inner beauty.
I am so grateful that I have so many women of inner beauty surrounding me in a culture and county obsessed with outward beauty.
Once you move from southern Ca. a whole new perspective of life opens up. It is true. <3
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