Day 188 - A Peace

It's late at night and for some reason I was compelled to sign up for a half marathon in November. So I just did. I knew it was the next hurdle for me to face.

It's not that I am good at running, because I'm not. I am slow and I have asthma. But it's hard to explain how it changed my life. Right when people were saying ugly things about me I started following the Couch to 5K Program because I could not afford to do any other exercise program. I will never forget the exact moment when I was listening to a particular song and I realized that this was my chance to take negative energy and turn over a new leaf... and I was going to do it for myself, not as revenge. I refused to let anyone bring me down or define me. And I did. And God has been blessing me and teaching me along the way. I feel like I have faced a lot of life lessons that I should have already learned, but maybe some of us are late bloomers. Lessons about strength, about will, about challenges, about confidence, about being your own decision maker, and about living a better life. And I am still on this road of lessons, just with a clearer head and a lot more determination. It's kind of amazing to see the journey that is not really about running, but more about finding myself. A better me physically and emotionally.

And so I have 18 weeks to train to run a 13.1 mile race. It won't be easy and I have a few things to figure out about my body first, but I can do it. I know this now. That any of us can do pretty much anything if we lean on God and know that He will get us through. If we lock into him spiritually and put the required work in.

All I can think about right now is the one day back in 2008 when I was laid off from my job and our world started turning upside down, because that was the start of this major life journey. A journey about finances, letting go, giving up, meeting God at His meeting place, having faith, handing it all over, changing, and creating a new life filled with more rewards and less material gratification. I would never, in a million years, have guessed that this journey would bring me to a day where I would run a half marathon.

All I can say is that if God is trying to get in your heart and move some things around, no matter how scary and how hard it is going to be, let Him in. We all need to change, to be humbled, to be molded, to let go. I have a peace in a chaotic and imperfect life that is worth every tear and heartache.