Day 194 - Her words

Whenever I read a faith-based book (or most non fiction books) I highlight the parts that reach me the most. And then when I am finished, sometimes a week or two later, I go back and write down all of the highlighted parts in my prayer journal. It can be tedious but it's amazing and completely worth it. It's the only way to retain the most life-changing parts for years to come. I find that even only a week later I remember I loved the book but I forgot all of the reasons why. Keeping a journal of those words (and the pages they were on) is a way for me to revisit what God, and other people's lives, have taught me. I look over all of my journals from time and time, for when I start to feel depleted or when I need inspiration. God continues to talk to me there.

While finishing transcribing my notes from Dangerous Surrender, I found this particular highlighted prayer that she had written.

If the best way I can serve you is to create a safe haven in our home for my husband so that he can be more effective, I'll do it. If your plan for my life is not to be a public speaker or an author but to raise my beautiful children to love you and serve you so that their lives have a far greater impact than either me or [my husband] - that's what I want. I don't care anymore. If taking up the cross to serve you means being put on the shelf indefinitely or even forever, I'm yours.

How is it possible that someone else has had an identical prayer as mine, and here I am reading about it only months later? Not a prayer that looks similar, but one that is almost exactly my words, including my own dreams of public speaking and being an author. A prayer about surrendering it all to God and having peace over that decision. When I surrendered this book was not in my hands or on my mind, but here it is for me to see. A woman of faith, years before me, praying a prayer of deep surrender. The kind of prayer where you tell God you will leave your own hopes and dreams behind so that your life can be used for His purpose. It's a big deal. And I'm not alone.

And then she wrote more.

I stopped fretting over what would happen to me; any gifts I had were given to me by God, and if he chose to use them in a way that was different from the way I wanted them to be used, that was his decision. I was finally at peace.


I had to trust that while I couldn't see where the steps of faith were leading me, I was walking on a firm structure that wouldn't let me fall.


My life right now, in someone else's words. What reassuring beauty it is.