Day 132 - God saw me through

I feel so good. I am seven pounds lighter, running five days a week, and I love cooking real, healthy meals for my family every night. Just a few months ago I hated the thought of running, I couldn't fit into my clothes, and I was tired of figuring out what to cook.

Every Saturday is my "long run" day and I run farther than I have ever run before. I can't believe that somehow in all of my mess, I found my strength again. I found my heart. I found part of someone I had lost. I actually cry when I think about it. I have missed this part of me that I thought was gone forever.

God knew.

God brought me here. I went through a lot of mud, a lot of self-hate, and a lot of tears. I forgot I had power, love, and the will to fight. But God knew because He built me this way. I know He was sad when I stopped loving myself. I was spiritually strong, but emotionally weak. And let me tell you, I only got here after going through some pretty rough times. Times of hardship, deep hurt, and a lot of criticism. I was a wreck inside, but I learned to keep getting up after every fall. I began to see that even the worst times can be used for good. Can be part of the plan. Can be a step out of the pit.

I know that I while things feel so good right now; I will have hard, bad, and difficult again. I already do. I know that no life is free from pain, but how you handle the pain makes all of the difference. I feel like I can get through anything... that I am a fighter all over again. Faith saw me through last year, and hope is seeing me through right now.

God will see me through forever.