Day 327 - With thanks

Today is Thanksgiving. I have so much to be thankful for. I am immensely blessed and forever grateful for my extremely beautiful life.

This Thanksgiving I feel compelled to thank God for all of the areas I am struggling. Because let me tell you, I am struggling right now. I feel like my light was snuffed out a while back and my passion and my drive went with it. I just don't feel like me. And yet, even in the areas I am struggling I need to be more grateful than ever.

Lord, I am grateful for my sanity. While I am feeling challenged with life's circumstances, I am so lucky that you have given me the patience and the stamina to see it through. Even on the worst days. I am thankful for my busy life. How lucky am I to be able to fill it up with this and that? I am thankful for the moments with my children, in the car, and to their schools. Through the tantrums and the crying I give thanks. For those tears are proof of life and love. God, thank you for our finances. It may not feel like enough, but my cup runneth over, and you have protected us and shown yourself through our financial hardships. I trust you, God, and in relation to the world, we are wealthy beyond means. Thank you for every penny in our possession; each one is truly a gift. Lord, thank you for relationships, the good and the bad. Trials with others help us grow, gain wisdom, and shape who we are. Lord, I am so grateful to have people in my life and to not be alone. I am thankful for the ability to love and to walk away. Some are not afforded the gift of either. And lastly Lord, thank you for hope and for peace. While sometimes it may feel like they pass us by and we cannot quite reach them, You have given us the ability to have them in our life forever. I am so grateful that I can praise your holiness. 

Happy Thanksgiving to you. Wishing all of my readers so much love and joy, through your trials and pain as well as in your happiness.


 

Day 319 - What He has given us

I may be overwhelmed, but as of today I am waking up and thanking God for everything. The hard, the exhausting, and the craziness. I am thanking Him for what He is doing in our lives. Who cares how long my days are and how much has to be done. I get to do it all. He has given me the opportunity to have children and take care of them. How blessed am I that I wake up in a warm house with food on the table. I also have a car to take my children to the schools of my choice. I have a healthy body to hug them with and a voice of my own to express my feelings. I am quantitatively blessed. Life may seem out of whack right now, but every single moment is a blessing, even if tears are involved. A million people in a million ways would trade their life with mine.

I don't want to forget that.

I have had an unsettledness in my heart for a few months now. A feeling like we're not where we should be and maybe where we live isn't the right place for our family. I have thought of other options, looked into other areas, and wondered where a more fulfilling life could take place. A better balance of what my heart thinks is important for a family to grow. But no answers have come and the feeling still looms. This morning I wonder if what is missing is my ability to be thankful for everything I have. And the ability of my mind to sort through all of the fog of what the ideals are for the type of place we reside in. It's a rat race no matter how hard you try to stay centered. We live in a very wealthy and somewhat fake place. But this is all I have ever known and I love the people here who have become the center of my life. Maybe if I remind myself how lucky I am every single morning, through the thick and the thin, and on the hard days and the good days, that unsettling feeling will go away. I can just give it all over to God to direct us where He wants us to go and be happy with where He placed us for right now. Because that is what I am trying to do.... be happy for exactly what God has given me today.



 

Day 318 - He can help us

My sweet baby boy is going through something difficult right now. It's breaking my heart but also challenging me to my fullest. Literally and emotionally. This week I was reminded that while I know that everything has a season and that this too shall pass, that as a mother I need to take it to God. I need to pray over my sweet boy. I need to thank God for every bit and piece of him, even on the worst day. That God can see me through this and that He created me to be that sweet boy's mommy so that I can protect him, challenge him, and get him through the crazy turmoil he is in. Just as I have my seasons and my times of change, so do children. God is working in them.

And so today I am dedicated to fervently praying over my sweet boy "M" and asking God to please help heal him. To help fix whatever is broken. To help give me the wisdom and the strength to make the right decisions to guide him. I am asking God for help. I am praying for my little guy.

As parents we often take everything on instead of turning to God and asking for His guidance. We carry the burden of trying to fix it all ourselves. We feel helpless and alone. We feel overwhelmed. But we have a Heavenly Father to lean on for times such as these and He hears all of our prayers for our children. He can help us through.

Never forget that.

 

Day 317 - Today

Today I am encompassing hope. In the midst of change, trials, and moments of frustration - I find peace. While I may feel sad at one moment, I still have an undoubted peace that stays with me at all times. I have a steadfast assurance that everything will be okay and that a bad day or days is just a small period of time. There is no act, trial, disturbance, or difficulty that I cannot get through because God is there. He is there no matter what happens, often weeping with those He loves. Often holding us up and whispering in our ears when we don't feel strong. And always working to try and bring good into all circumstances.

Today I am thankful for God's love and his trials in my life. I am thankful for hope because it shines the spotlight on all the possibilities for the future. I am thankful that I never have to feel completely alone.


 

Day 315 - Hope

‎"Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today.” Thich Nhat Hanh



 

Day 314 - Her

"... Her powerful sense of purpose, her undying hope for a better life, her faith in God, her self-love, her positive attitude, her fearlessness and resilience, her willingness to take risks, and her ability to reach out to others." -from Life Without Limbs

I want to be that woman of God. I want people to see me that way. I want to restructure my life to have those qualities. I am taping this to my computer to remind me every day.


 

Day 313 - Change

A lot of things in our home have been changing. Some good, some hard, and some just new. I still can't quite share, but there will be a long post soon. Sometimes I feel like it's one obstacle after another and I can't catch my breath. I start to ask God, "When do I get a break?" But then I realize that he just gave us a major blessing after a trial, and even though something new and difficult is looming, what do I have to complain about? Life isn't about breaks. No one is going to have a life without hardship and difficulties and let's face it, there is almost always some trial in your life at all times. Who am I to question why God doesn't "give me a break" when he's clearly been working so hard in my life. His plans, while often concealed, always turn out so much better than imagined. Sometimes the wait is long, but the journey is worth it. I think that if you life a life full of hope, every day, in all situations, you can get through anything.

I read this in a book last night:

"You may face many trial too, but you should know that wherever you feel weakness, God is strong."

Lovely reminder.


 

Day 311 - Keep on

Can I be honest? I read some pretty harsh comments on Facebook this week. Comments that were purely offensive and rude. Calling out a political party and actually stating hateful claims about the people who follow it. There is one person in particular that really got me frustrated and all I wanted to do today was say something directly or stop being their friend. But I am constantly reminded that sometimes it's our job to be a light for others, even if they don't see it. That you don't bring anyone to Christ by deleting them or calling them out. You bring them with your love and compassion. You keep being yourself and hope that somehow your love will give others peace in their lives.

And so I will keep on keeping on.

 

Day 308 - People

On Day 299 I wrote about how we should not ignore other people because of our own problems. So I spent these last 9 days making sure to add in time with friends, even if it was inconvenient. It's funny that when I look back, it was those times with friends, even if it was stressful to get there, that were the most uplifting and fulfilling. People fill us up, not to-dos, things, or schedules. Knowing what others are struggling with, celebrating, and just thinking about connects us and grows our relationships. That is love is what God intended for us when He made us. To build each other up, reach out our hand, and to love. I really need that reminder often.

To all of you in my life, I appreciate and value you. I don't think I say it enough.


 

Day 307 - A promise

Where have I been? I don't know... in this crazy busy world where my time has disappeared. Some of it is because of the time I have committed to volunteering at my son's school. Some of it is due to a cute almost-three year old going through some sort of growth change. Some of it is from having sick kids for what seems like two months straight. Some of it is pure exhaustion from life. I am sure there are so many other variables, but I feel like this blog keeps disappearing from my life.

I love this blog and I love blogging about faith. It fills me up. It centers me. I don't like that it is missing at all. When this blog gets pushed aside, I feel like my faith gets pushed aside. That's not right. We have missed church due to vacation and illness. I hate it. I need to be centered again, but it's hard. It's hard to find balance when you are feeling pulled and pushed.

Tonight my husband and I made a promise. A promise to make our faith a priority again. For us, for our kids, and for our family. To give God all the glory for the blessings and lessons he bestows upon us.

I have a wonderful story about our life to share, but I have to wait a little bit longer (no I'm not pregnant). It's all about how God works his perfect timing, even when you feel like he has left you. And how when He tells you to have big faith, you should really listen.