Day 13 - They save me

And it still continues... I know many of you followed My Year of Faith last year. You were with us through it all, reading how our lives changed daily. That roller coaster is not over. Our finances are still in an upheaval, but they are so much better. I am beyond thankful to be in a position where we can provide for ourselves. There is work, we are living, and I am so grateful that God had plans for us.

Nothing is easy right now. We still want for a lot of things. We still struggle being able to pay for things that are not exactly luxuries, but are not true necessities either. We have to take our finances one day at a time, which is actually a really important lesson for us. We never assume that anything is promised financially down the road. We only use cash; there are no credit cards in our lives. And we really prioritize what are the most important items to buy. I do still struggle with how much we have to say no to. My heart wishes my daughter was in preschool (fingers crossed soon). Things like registering for MOPS has to come second to paying my car registration and then seeing what's left over. I constantly have to make due with what I already have (and be creative with it). My son has to wear out one pair of shoes at a time, and I have to say no to my sweet kids a lot, even though I am ready to start saying yes. At the same time, I never knew how to tell myself no before. I was never resourceful with what I already had. I wasted a lot. And now I love getting even one or two little wants! These are all great lessons. God has made it very clear to me that everything is not coming back right away. I'm still in it and He still has a lot to teach me.

Here's the kicker. My heart is bursting with hope. I have seen what God can do. I have watched Him provide for us in so many ways. He is still doing it. We took a little unexpected financial hit this month. The grocery budget became extremely limited, there is no room for any extras that have not been paid for, and we know that the next two months will be very tight. It's certainly no fun, but we have had so much worse. We know we can get through it. When I found out, I cursed for a little bit, and then I calmed down and thanked God for every dime we have in our pockets. Then last night we found out that there is a floating check coming my way. Imagine that. Not enough to buy a "big want," but enough to provide for our needs. Enough to let the heart release a little stress. Enough to take a breath and say "thank you God, that will bridge some of the gap." That is why I never let go of hope, I hold onto it in every situation. The bad, ugly, good, confusing, and depressing. I thank Him in all circumstances and then I have hope, and then I have more hope. I even have hope in the impossible because I know that nothing is truly impossible with God. I have hope and I have faith. And those two things together, they save me.