Day 24 - Afflicted

"It is good for me that I was afflicted,
That I may learn your statutes." -Psalm 119:71


I found this verse yesterday. It's so hard for me to explain to people that what we went through (and are still dealing with) is really one of the best things that has happened to me. Sure, I have days where I am so sad and frustrated, but the truth is in my heart and I keep it with me daily. You may ask why I feel this way. It's not because I feel like God's purpose was to teach us how to be better prepared financially in the future (although I did learn a lot), it's because I have felt something that I could never have understood without affliction in my life. I have lived His word, not just read it. I have been blessed by His word, not just heard it. I have accepted His Word as proof that God does exist because He has answered my specific prayers. He has whispered and shouted at me. He has blessed me with more than I deserve, even in the hardest times. His love shined down on me in the darkness and I felt it.

"You keep track of all my sorrows;
You've collected all my tears in your bottle.
You've recorded each one in your book." -Psalm 56:8

Now that time is passing and new events are unfolding, I feel like I can see small blessings I may have otherwise missed. That perhaps an unfortunate conflict with someone in my life is really meant to teach me how to deal with something in the far off future. Or maybe God's purpose for a bad situation is to grow a stronger bond with someone new. Tears surely help us deal with heartache, but they can also be a window into something new and unseen. All of these afflictions in our lives can bring us so much closer to God and to being hopeful within ourselves. Something I need so desperately right now. But you know what, I am starting to feel it. I am starting to feel hope grow inside of me. I thought that I started this year with so much of it, but shortly I discovered that it was depleted and that I was unsure and afraid to trust. And now, I am starting to see a little seed of hope sprout inside of me. Over time with nurturing and God's word, I am optimistic that I will become a woman full of peace, strength, trust, and confidence and that my seed of hope will grow into a garden full of love and truth. I pray that God can work those kinds of miracles in my life. He has already done so much.