Day 9 - Hold on to hope

I have to admit, I lose hope when things are not happening quickly. Last year was not just a year of financial stress; it was a year about finding out who I am and where I am going. I prayed, submerged myself in the word, and made plans. Still, some days I would let a little bit of hope slip away because I felt like I was not going anywhere. My writing was the same, my days were the same, and there was no physical progress. Yes, I had faith that God was using my situation for good, but I lost hope in the plans that God had planted in my heart. Many days I felt like there was no hope for my future.

Have things really changed over the last year? In some ways yes and many ways no. I completed My Year of Faith. I met some amazing friends and readers who have lifted me up. I have new readers and a way to connect with them on Facebook. I was asked to speak to a great group of women about my story (what a dream). I have this new blog about hope. I was invited to write a weekly family blog for OC Family. I have had life changing emails and comments sent to me. And, I have a lot more confidence in my voice and my faith. But, has anything really changed as far as worldly success? Do I write a blog that reaches tens of thousands of readers a day? Am I being paid to write about my faith? Have I written a bible study yet, or a book? Have I brought anyone directly to Jesus? No. I have achieved personal goals, but I have not "gone anywhere" yet. Let's just say my success is very slow, at a snail's place (plus what's success really mean anyways).

Last year, I was not okay with this. I wanted it all right away; after all, didn't God kind of promise it to me? This year is so different; my heart is full and hopeful. All of those things that happened last year, albeit small, are huge to me. I see them so much more clearly with strength of faith and eyes of hope. If God gave me everything right away, how in the world could I handle it or understand it? I wouldn't even have the knowledge to succeed. Instead, God is teaching me new things daily to prepare me for my future. Like how to be a mother, woman, wife, friend, and human being. I took so much in last year; I now see that as pure success. Just opening my heart to hearing God's word was success.

Faith and hope allows me to see that a snail's pace is the perfect pace, God's pace is a perfect pace.  While I would like (okay love) to be making money writing or speaking about faith, it's just not in the cards right now. Should I lose hope, quit, move on? Absolutely not. Sometimes it takes years or decades for God to mold us. To use us. To teach us. If God has put a desire or a future on your heart.... let your patience guide you. Believe, when nothing is happening, that all of the gears are working hard, even if you can't see them. The small idleness of your day is making a difference in your path.

Whatever it is that God has called you to do, keep doing it. Maybe it's your job, your ministry, or just learning to live with joy or hope day-by-day. Every day IS progress towards something really wonderful. Hold on to hope.

I'm doing, waiting, hoping, and trusting.

"Wait and trust the Lord." -Psalm 37:7 (NCV)