Day 185 - Setback

Life isn't easy, and maybe that is a good thing for me. It keeps me thinking, questioning, trying, and believing. God has blessed us financially by allowing us to pay for our needs and some wants, but even when we were about to take a bigger step forward financially, we are now being pulled back. It's almost as if we are only supposed to have just enough right now and that's it. I feel like struggling is still part of the plan. It's obvious that we will not be overly blessed financially anytime soon and for whatever reason we are stuck in a new season of life that requires different tools to survive. And that's okay because I know it has a reason and often I believe that God does not want us to return to our old life too fast or too soon. But I would be lying if I didn't say that it hurts. That I struggle. That I want more. But that's okay too because after all I am human and it's the wanting part that shows our faith. It's how I respond to the wanting that matters. Do I cry over it? Do I throw a fuss? Do I complain? Am I joyful with what I do have? Or do I acknowledge my feelings and then thank God for what He has given me?

Tonight after my babies fell asleep, I realized that our little family waking up every morning is in fact the biggest gift that God could give us. And I should be thankful for that. I should be thankful that I have the means to provide all of the necessities for them and that I can give them a full and happy life with whatever God gives me. And because of all of that, I should have hope that God will continue to provide for us in the future with whatever means are meant for our journey.

And so, with another financial setback, I am going to look forward and feel complete trust and faith that we can get through this and that living this part of our journey will only make us stronger down the road. God loves us and will never leave us.

Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand. - Isaiah 41:10 (NLT)