Day 196 - Leslie's Story

No life is without difficulty, heart break, and periods of time where you wonder "why me?" Sometimes our journeys feel never ending, are full of mountains to climb, and require you to have hope to keep on moving. My friend Leslie's story of infertility and the longing to be a mother was not only long, but also emotional. And yet, God had his own plan and perfect timing for her life. And strangely it included an unexpected, and very famous man of faith. 

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Our Story of Love and Faith by Leslie Bonifay 

Lee and I were married in September of 2004. We choose September 11th, because we wanted to make it a happy day vs. tragic memories of that fateful day in 2001. That’s just our personality. We always try to find the positive in every negative situation, and really do believe that there’s a reason for everything handed to us in life.

Although Lee was 35 when we wed, we still wanted to enjoy some time as a couple before venturing into parenthood. At that time, little did we realize that it was going to take us a lot longer than we anticipated. After enjoying our time as a couple, and traveling to our hearts’ content, we decided it was time to start trying for a family.

Unfortunately, our attempts were never successful, and we just couldn’t understand why. All of our friends were having babies, yet, our prayers were never answered.

We then began the long, arduous process of testing (for the both of us), which continued for a couple of years. After enduring every test under the sun, it was determined that the problems were with me. My doctor discovered that I had PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome), along with a septate uterus, meaning my uterus was heart shaped; therefore, if I did ever get pregnant, the baby wouldn’t have room to grow and would either die or be born very prematurely.

At that time, I was given a prescription of Metformin, which is a medication for diabetics (I am not diabetic), but is also commonly prescribed to PCOS patients to help regulate periods. You see, it’s really hard to get pregnant when you never know when or if you’re having a period. That was a major cause of our infertility issues. Furthermore, we had to solve the problem of my septate uterus. That required a laparoscopy and hysteroscopy on the weekend of our fifth wedding anniversary in 2009. 

After a successful surgery, we continued down the path of trying for a family. Although the Metformin was regulating my period, ovulation then became a problem. It wasn’t something that was easily tracked for me. So, one of my close friends gave me her Clearblue Easy Fertility Monitor, and away I went. I had to consistently test my urine every morning at the same time to measure my ovulation. This process continued, month after month, year after year.

Then, in May of 2011, Lee and I took a trip of a lifetime to Rome, Italy. During our visit, we had many adventures planned, including participating in the papal audience church service in St. Peter’s Square, along with a personal tour of the Vatican and St. Peter’s Basilica.

Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t come from a strongly religious family, but my husband does. Although I am faithful, I’m not consistent with my religious practice. However, when we were part of the papal audience, both Lee and I were moved to tears. There’s just something about being in the holy city and witnessing the strong religious presence around you. As we waited for service to begin, Lee and I heard an overwhelming sound of cheers and a crowd rushing towards us. Little did we realize that the barricade our seats rested against was the “motorway” for the “papal mobile,” which was moving in our direction…along with the throngs of people just hoping for a glimpse of Pope Benedict XVI. You’ll see from the pictures just how close we were. These pictures are NOT zoomed in. We were literally inches away from the holiest man in the Catholic Church. Despite not being Catholic, we couldn’t help but to absorb every little detail in this holy moment. Here we were a couple from California, just an arm’s length away from the Pope. It was mind blowing! Time for our prayers…

The very next day, we took an intimate tour of the Vatican and St. Peter’s Basilica, which was also very moving. We said a few more prayers and dipped our cross necklaces in the holy water.

Fast forward three months…I scheduled an appt. with my OB-GYN to discuss the next steps on our path to pregnancy. At that time, he wanted to triple my dose of Metformin and Clomid (fertility meds that can produce multiple births), and give things until the end of the year before referring me back to the fertility doctor that performed my surgery in 2009.

When September rolled around, I still hadn’t had a period, but really wasn’t all concerned. You see, I had a whole life full of wondering when my period would start, so this didn’t concern me. I just thought I was “off,” after several weekends of “too much fun” during wedding season and summertime.

Then, on October 1st, I went to the BevMo wine sale. While leaving the store, I thought to myself, “I should probably go to CVS and buy a pregnancy test.” So, here I am, walking into my front door with a case of wine in one hand and a pregnancy test in the other. Pretty funny when you really think about the irony of that picture.

After the longest two minutes of my life, the test came back positive! WOW! We could hardly believe it! So much so, that I proceeded to take an additional three tests to make sure. Then, the following week, my suspicions were confirmed – I was pregnant…with twins. Little did we know that I was already pregnant at my August OB-GYN appointment, but didn’t know it!

Unfortunately, we lost “Baby B” after eight weeks, but still had to remain positive about “Baby A.” As I mentioned earlier, Lee and I always try to see the positive in every situation. In this case, we rationalized that most women don’t even get their first ultrasound until 12-weeks, so if that had happened to me, I would’ve never known that Baby B even existed; however, we agreed that Baby B existed to give Baby A a better chance at living. So for that, we were extremely grateful that Baby B gave his/her life to Baby A. The ultimate, selfless act.

Baby B was later confirmed to be a male, who was due to enter our lives on May 20, 2012, which was almost one year to the day that we toured the Vatican and St. Peter’s Basilica. A simple coincidence? We think not.

Dylan Lee Bonifay was born on May 7, 2012, and our feet still haven’t touched the ground. This sweet son of ours is truly a blessing. The journey the three of us have taken to be united as a family has come full circle. What once was a prayer is now our reality. For that, we are eternally grateful to the Lord and his disciples here on Earth…especially one important man in Italy.

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Leslie's journey to become a mother was not easy or quick. In fact it ended up being over 7 years from the time they were married to when their sweet boy would be born. But God answered their prayers, in His time and His way. What a sweet little miracle.